Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers urge Kennedy to forgive his father for abandoning him

43% of Pulse Nigeria Poll readers have urged Kennedy to find a place in his heart to forgive his father who abandoned him when he was just an infant.

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A really worried man play

A really worried man

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Kennedy, a 38-year-old man, has gone through life with bitterness and strong hatred for his father who abandoned him when he was just a toddler.

He grew up not knowing the true love of a father as his mother denied herself any comfort to make sure he becomes something in life.

Now, from nowhere, the father who abandoned him comes calling and is begging for forgiveness.

Should he forgive the man and free himself of hatred and anger?

Read his story here:

"My name is Kennedy, a 38-year-old man working and living in Lagos. I have a problem that I hope your readers can help with some useful pieces of advice before I do something stupid.

I am very bitter at the moment as my so-called family is doing everything possible to arm-twist me into forgiving my father, a man who abandoned me when I was an infant and did not care a hoot about me or whether I lived or not.

The man who calls himself my father left me and my mother when I was just a few months old and had never cared about us until now that God has blessed me. He wants to reap where he did not sow.

I remember how my mother suffered to raise me up all alone with no father figure. I realized he did not marry my mother legally, only getting her pregnant and abandoning us when we needed him most.

While growing up, I know what my mother went through to see that I survived. As I write this, tears still sting my eyes when I remembered how my mother starved herself, did odd jobs, even stole to feed me. She went through so much pain just to see me live.

Back then, I suffered all forms of humiliations as people called me all sorts of names and disgraced me every time. Even my mother's relations called me a bastard and I was denied even the slightest assistant.

I remember how my mother sold her clothes to pay my school fees. Or is it the way she was beaten up by her own brother just because I plucked oranges from my grandfather's compound?

I lived a life of pains and denial, hatred and bitterness. It was so much that I developed a strong anger against the man who called himself my father.

But God was with us all the way as he lifted me up through my stepfather after my mother got married when I was about 14. The man, God bless him, saw that I went to school and never discriminated against me and his own children.

With God by my side, I graduated with a First Class degree and after my youth service, I had six job offers, two with federal government parastatals and the other with top companies in Nigeria.

I had to choose one with an oil servicing company with very good pay and other mouth-watering perks.

Fast forward to six months ago: that was when the man who claimed to be my father decided to creep back into my life and has succeeded in stirring up the hatred I have harbored in my heart for him. He first sent two of his brothers, my supposed uncles, to start a peace mission.

They just appeared in my house and told me they were from my so-called father and said he was very sick and wanted me to help with money for his treatment. I practically threw them out of my house, telling them the only father I knew was my late step-dad.

Since then, they have been on my neck and the man himself has been calling me, telling me to forgive him and accept him back. Even my mother has been begging me. The first time she did, I showed her another side of me she never knew existed.

But she has not stopped and has even vowed never to come to my house again if I refused to forgive my father.

My wife too has taken up their fight, making life difficult for me. She has insisted that the family must go and visit her father-in-law. My children have been on my neck that they want to meet their real grandpa.

I am very confused at the moment as I find it difficult to forgive that man.

Kennedy."

Two readers, Naomi Dachung and Akindana Gloria Omotinuolawa, also preached forgiveness:

Naomi Dachung: "Kennedy, I know it is not easy but I want you to take heart and forgive him. Blood is thicker than water; pray to God to take control and intervene in this situation.

If you are a Christian, the bible told us to forgive one another as the Lord forgives us. You have shown your bitterness and I know that he has realize his big mistake.

I feel the pain with you but we have to obey the word of God. The vengeance is for the Lord and he taught us not to retaliate bad for bad but bad for good. I pray the Lord will change your heart."

Akindana Gloria Omotinuolawa: "Kennedy, I share your pain because I went through the same thing. Mine was from pregnancy though and I stand here today to tell you that the best revenge is forgiveness.

It hurts that no one else understands the pain you go through but I tell you, find a place to forgive him. Forgiving him will and can never help him, it will only help you because it will free you from prison without bars.

I forgave my father and even send him stuff but I tell you, he is not at peace with himself because each gift to him is a regret and you can't imagine how that feels for him.

Dear brother, I would also like to tell you to find God's forgiveness; then and only then will you be able to forgive him. May the peace of God speak to your heart."

The teaser for the day was:

Would you forgive a father who abandoned you and made you go through much suffering?

How Nigeria voted:

Yes, I will forgive him if he genuinely begs for forgiveness - 43%

No, nothing will ever make me forgive him - 16%

Since he did not want me, I will also not want him - 6%

I will forgive but I will not accept him - 36%

How would you vote here?

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