Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers say they would forgive a father who abandoned them

68% of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters say they will readily forgive a father who abandoned them when they were growing up.

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This confused man needs advice (Illustration) play

This confused man needs advice (Illustration)

(Getty Images)
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Folarin, a regular Pulse reader, has been finding it pretty difficult to forgive his father who abandoned him while he was growing up, despite the man's attempt to come back into his life and doing everything possible to make amends.

Read his letter here:

"My name is Folarin, a 25-year-old undergraduate of a university in the south-western part of Nigeria. At my age, I should actually be a graduate or at most, in my final year but I am still in my second year with the prospect of not even finishing my education looming large.

You see, my father and mother are divorced and this took a toll on myself and my younger sister as the divorce was so messy that my mother took us away when we were kids.

For more than 15 years, mom kept us away from dad and practically poisoned our hearts towards him and we grew up with resentment for him. The feeling must have been mutual because until two years ago, dad never cared to look for us and even when his family members forced him to take us back, he was reluctant.

By the time he came for us, I had spent over six years at home after I finished from secondary school as my mother who not remarried, could not afford to send me to a tertiary institution. All those years, I survived through menial jobs and I lived with a lot of hatred for my father.

But after he took us to live with him, he has tried to be a good father, doing everything possible to fill the void but all he has done seem not to even scratch the surface of my heart. He has explained what led to him divorcing our mother but what she went through to raise us with him not being there still hurts and I don't think I can get over the past.

My sister has moved on and they have formed a great father-daughter bond but something still keeps me aloof and wary of dad's efforts to make us happy.

How do I get to forgive my father and come to accept him?


The teaser for the day was:

Would you forgive a father who abandoned you for many years?

How Nigeria voted:

68% - Yes, I will forgive him if he apologises

14% - No, I will never forgive him for abandoning me

17% - I will forgive him but I will not take him as my father

How would you vote here?

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