Chioma Okafor recaps the what it feels when a man is in love with a woman.
This month of February is known all over the world as the month of love and as lovers, (and potential lovers), get set to celebrate the St. Valentine's Day, (though Nigerians will be at the polls on that day), it is pertinent to ask this question: how do you know when you are in love?
Look at this scenario:
When you think you love a woman but you are not just sure, you keep asking yourself: how can I tell if I love her? The general consensus about this part is that love happens gradually, over time, instead of one 'glorious moment, with violet in the background, and you go through hurdles and trials together and with each other.
You become a little bit sure when you have waited for two hours because the restaurant is overbooked and her easy going (who cares) attitude gets you; or her kindness to your family and friends seals the deal.
You are scared to death about losing her, or keeping her. You have this feeling of not being with another woman, of day-dreaming about her all the time, seeing her image in your mind's eye, smelling her perfume and mentally comparing her to every woman you meet but she always comes out smelling like roses.
This feeling goes on and on, and you wonder if you are really ready for all this. What if it crashes or burns out like your last relationship? You stop and ask yourself, how did you let this happen again? But deep down, you know you are going for it anyway.
You will do whatever it takes to impress her and make her see you as the knight in the shining armour. You are willing to bend your own rules, try new things, and go the extra miles for her.
You know that she is on your mind every second of the day and you do not seem to concentrate on anything without thinking of her. Like the line from 'Over my head" by Fray, she is in your head at all times and this sums up your feelings in its entirety.
Then the date draws close and you wonder what you will actually say to her when she turns up: What am I going to say to her now to avoid sounding sprung? You want her to be thinking about you too, so you make up little excuses to call and say hi.
Buddy, if you end up thinking about that special woman while praying she is thinking of you too, you are in lone man!
She makes you want to be a better man; the stakes are high when you meet a woman that blows your mind, you become more serious and focused about getting your acts together, fixing your money situation or hitting the gym.
Things that normally occupy your thoughts won't be of any importance again. Nothing means much to you than having her sit next to you, while you stare into her eyes.
When you know that your very existence is to make her happy, you are in love. The lady you met at the bank may be hot and smashing but compared to the woman of your dreams, she pales into nothingness. No lady beats your lady's smile; you just cant resist her.
You had sworn, after your last relationship, that you are done but all attempts to cease and resist proves futile.
There is no such thing like too much of this woman, you want her with you when you are happy, sad, tired, sick.
You know practically all there is to know about her. All is great and its official, yeap!
My Buddy You are In Love
*Chioma Okafor, a graduate of Mass Communication from University of Benin, is currently on a postgraduate studies at the Psychology Department of the University of Southampton, UK.