Domestic violence is often associated with men beating their wives; but what of women that abuse their husbands physically and emotionally?
My name is Benjamin and I am a 52-year-old businessman based in Lagos. I have kept this problem to myself for many years but I think I have to come out with it because it has been eating deep into my soul.
The problem is that my wife, Nkiru, beats me regularly and though many see me as being weak and less of a man, I have my reasons for not beating her back.
I got married to Nkiru after the death of my first wife, Amaka, a woman who was everything to me. We had three young children before God took her away from us.
Amaka died when our last child was just two months old and my younger sister came from the village to take care of the kids.
I had vowed never to get married because of the pains of losing Amaka but after almost 10 years, my sister had to get married and my family mounted so much pressure on me to get married so that the children can have a mother figure.
After the pressure was getting too much, I asked my mother to find a wife for me and that was how I got stuck with Nkiru.
The first two years of our marriage was quite blissful and she took care of the kids very well and they dotted on her. But once Nkiru had her own baby, everything changed and she became a strange woman.
She began to hate my children and battered them at the slightest offence. I kept quiet at first but when it got too much, I had to caution her and that was when we had our first quarrel.
In the heat of it, Nkiru slapped me twice. Being a man who has never raised a finger on a woman, I just left the house and went to a nearby beer palour to cool down.
And since then, Nkiru has continued assaulting me and I have scars and bruises to show for them. Some would say I should divorce her but there are two things that make that impossible.
1. We got married in the traditional way and in my place, such marriages are not broken without serious consequences.
2. I would not want my children to go through what they went through when they lost their mother.
But the situation is not going to abate anytime soon.
What should I do?
Dear readers, who says men do not get abused? On Morning Teaser today, we ask: what would you do if your wife beats you? And if you are a woman, what would you do if your brother's wife beats him?