#MenAreTrash is a useless rhetoric

Another young, beautiful woman who had her life in front of her was killed by a weak man. We cannot exhaust the conversation about domestic violence and physical assault in relationships.

The death of Mokoena fired up the tweets about violence in relationships. The hash tag #MenAreTrash were embedded in so many 140 word statements. They weren't a reaction to the beautiful South African's death. It was a backlash and rallying cry from women who have been ignored for a long time.

#MenAreTrash was trending before Mokoena's horrific death. A few days before, a lady announced that #MenAreTrash t-shirts were up for sale. This brought a lot of heat on social media.

Most guys felt that #MenAreTrash is a slur and an unfair indictment of all men. On the other side of the fence, the hash tag is an accurate description of men who have encouraged rape culture, misogyny and patriarchy to thrive.

As earlier stated #MenAreTrash is the language of the ignored, frustrated and unheard. When a group of people have been disregarded for a long time they usually result to rhetoric like this to get their point across.

A good example of this is the term 'white privilege'. This term is used to describe a system that only favours white people. White Privilege became very prominent in the last seven years especially during the emergence of the Black Lives Matter.

The point here is this, the term white privilege does not take into account the millions of white people who are poor and have never benefited from the 'system' just like many American minorities. It also lumps together white people who are not racist.

The use of white privilege to battle racism in the US might not further the conversation. White people who have never benefited from this privilege might feel slighted that they are grouped with racists. This won't advance the racism conversation.

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The #MenAreTrash situation is similar. Men who have never raised their hands on women, never raped, sexually assaulted a woman would be annoyed with the hashtag.

From a male perspective, a lot of guys who want to contribute to these sensitive topics choose not to do so because they feel insulted and herded with rapists. For me, I keep quiet when this hash tag starts to trend. If you have already judged every man based on the actions of others, then why talk or speak?

What I see on Twitter these days are gender wars, slurs and shots thrown from both camps. This doesn't help the conversation. This does not advance anything.

While I understand why #MenAreTrash and 'fragile masculinity' are around, the truth is that they are doing more harm than good. When these terms are used, it doesn't invite men to the table to talk. The best #MenAreTrash has done is create a one-sided conversation that is more or less noise.