We bitter lot have decided to skip through the surface of a fine wedding and dig deeper to create our stories or versions of what we believe.
Adams Oshiomhole is married. That can never change. He is married to Iara Fortes, a Cape Verdean who has his last name. That cannot be changed by external forces.
Nigerians are a funny bunch. Over the weekend, for the sole educational purpose of this article, I took to the streets to ask random people on the street if a widower deserves love and the answer was spontaneous.
“Yes”. He deserves to love again and have company...” or something along those lines.
I changed the variables of the question and asked again. If a rich widower should marry, and the answer still remains positive, although with hesitation. Emphasis on the term ‘rich’.
“Errr….he should sha marry again”. The term ‘rich’ can only rhyme with ‘sha’. I am learning!
I took another roll of the dice, this time, tweaking the variables of the matter. “What if the rich widower marries a young fine who is way younger than he is”. Negativity set in.
“No. The girl is only interested in his money. Why will a fine girl marry an old man if not for money?”.
Then I finally threw all my cards in. “What if than man is a Governor, and the lady is a fine model from Cape Verde?”
“He is a criminal, and she is a gold digger”. End of story.
That’s the response I got from the street. A Governor who marries a young, sexy, foreigner is a criminal who wants to spend public funds on a new gold digger.
There was no considering the basic human elements of the case. Which are pretty glaring to everyone; A widower who has stayed five years without the comfort of a wife has decided to try his hand at matrimony again. He meets a woman, woos her, gains her heart and her trust, and she decides to walk aisle with him. That’s a good story. It is the stuff of romance novels, and the pride of Telemundo. It has love, patience, sacrifice, loyalty, risk, reward, and compassion. It’s a classic.
But sadly, that’s the story Nigerians are missing. We have decided to skip through the surface and dig deeper to create our stories or versions of what we believe. These stories come from our insecurities, bitterness, cynicism, fear, envy, and basic distrust of public officials. Where there’s a young woman in love, we see a gold-digger. Where a rejuvenated widower stands, we only see a criminal who has stolen public funds to fund his romance. Where there’s meant to be love, we see a financial arrangement. And where there is commitment, we see deceit.
Many will ask why he got to remarry a foreigner. That question in itself is an indictment of our belief in universal love. Strip away the couples’ nationality, tribe, race, education, philosophy, and our prejudice and the basics remain simple. Adams Oshiomhole is a man. Iara is a woman. Mena and woman fall in love all the time. Ask Obama’s ancestors.
We have tried this man in our hearts, with all of our insecurities, bitterness, cynicism, fear, envy, serving as the jury and damning witnesses.
We have tried him, and reached a guilty verdict. Passing judgement on a man who lost his wife to cancer, and waited half a decade to fill up her position. How about the lady? Do we consider what bond of companionship holds them together? How about the personal qualities she has seen in the man that has made him worthy of her binding commitment?
Call me naïve, brand me an apologists for self-serving politicians, but I don’t think Adams Oshiomhole is guilty of all the filth projecting from Nigerians and stimulated by his marriage.
The only crime Adams Oshiomhole is guilty of, is love. And it is a crime many of us happily commit.