“Halloween Juju Is Not Our Custom”

Last Friday made me understand the bias in Nigerians against certain aspects of foreign celebrations. It was Halloween, short for All Hallows Eve, which is celebrated every 31 day of October with the belief that spirits are walking the earth. But in Nigeria, those spirits are regarded as demons. Na only winch spirit fit waka come for this world.

I carry myself find trouble. Being the Head Of Music of Pulse, one of my major tasks is to put together the awesome Pulse VIP Night, with celebrities partying and having awesome fun. This Friday was Halloween, and since many Nigerians need some extra spark in their Friday turnup, I decided to organise a Halloween party in partnership with SWE Bar, Lagos, and V14 Management.

Excited as a bee, on my way to work I decided to share my happiness with certain people. The bike man who picked me from my estate was very polite.

‘Oga good morning o, any Friday better for us?’ He seemed happy too. So I plugged in my event.

“I’m organising a Halloween party, where you can wear masks, look like spirits and come party’

‘Chineke!’ he screamed. I knew I had spoken to the wrong person about my plans, and this was the first time I knew he was Igbo. He continued.

‘So Oga you follow this people dey do Devil something? You no sabi say na winch party be that? If na me be you, I no go carry my two legs go follow do bad thing o?” he advised. I could see the concern in his eyes.

He dropped me. I paid him and he sped away. I knew I had lost a good bike man. He sped off like I had leprosy. Halloween leprosy. Na my fault? I don’t blame him.

I went to the bus stop, got a vehicle to take me down to Lekki from Ajah, and in the bus, the radio was on. The broadcasters were having fun, singing and talking happily about the Halloween celebration.

“These people no know wetin them dey talk about. Na oyibo man winch na him dey wan carry come celebrate for Nigeria.” A woman in the bus said with disgust. She was fat, and had tribal marks which betrayed her tribe. She was Yoruba. In my head, I picked Ijebu Ode, and na dem get winch pass.

I felt the need to jump in and so I played my hand with my Brimerican accent. ‘Madam’, I began politely with a half-smile. ‘It’s not bad o. I’m also organising a Halloween party with plenty of drinks, masks and music. It’s going to be so cool and awesome. You and your family should come’.

The sigh I got from that Ijebu Ode woman was worthy of a spot in the Guinness Records book. ‘Mtttcccccccccheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Na you and your generation go die’

She continued. ‘So you follow dey do this Halloween Juju? This devil party na you dey organise am? So you be devil? Oyibo man bring him juju, and him begin use you wan make us go hell fire? In fact na Hell Fire you dey go”. She declared. Damning me to a painful afterlife. For small party wey I dey organise, my name don enter Satan book.

While I was still trying to reply, another man replied. He was Igbo. His accent gave him away.

“Nwanne, this Halloween that you are celebratinu is notu our customu. Have you ever celebrated or organise a party with Palm wine and Isi Ewu for the New Yam Festival?’

Another added, ‘Na Oyibo own we sabi do. Nosense’

I kept quiet then before I get beaten by Ijebu Ode women and Igbo Palm wine drinkers. The conversation kept going on, but I simply shut it out by plugging headsets to my smartphone and listening to the new MI Abaga’s album, The Chairman.

When I got to Lekki, I alighted, but not before someone gave me the parting shot, ‘Better give your yeye life to Christ.Hell is real’. I turned away in haste. Sinner that I am.

Well, my party went well. We wore masks, danced, drank and had crazy fun. But all through the party, I kept my eyes open and watchful, waiting for the devil to make an appearance. He didin’t show up with his horns and long tail. I guess it wasn’t his party after all.

Peace and good hustle, my people. See you next Tuesday. Remember to alert me when it’s the New yam Festival in Enugu. I might just organise the after party in Abakaliki.

Nonsense!