How to do away with feelings
In order to avoid being hurt, it is best you learn how not to catch feelings when in a casual fling.
Nobody wants to have feelings for someone that won't reciprocate their emotions. Things, however, get blurred after a few 'Netflix and Chill' dates and feelings develop.
The next thing you know you are staring at your phone and wondering why your last message has been read but no reply. You feel angry, depressed and worry when the person who you want isn't paying any attention to you. You feel lonely when you are around people.
To make matters worse, the person you've caught feelings for is flirting on Twitter and basically ignoring your DMs.
ALSO READ: Does 'friends with benefits' work?
This scenario has happened to millions of people, catching feelings for someone who isn't feeling the same things as you emotionally. Unreciprocated emotions, and feelings hurt.
Catching feelings can be avoided if you know what you are doing from the onset. Below are a few rules to follow so as not catch feelings the next time;
1) Know what you are getting into
Before you start having casual sex with someone it is best you have it at the back of your mind that you are not in this to catch feelings or have emotions. It is a strictly physical affair with no emotional angle to it. Once emotions set in there is a problem. It is best to do away with emotions. Keep it physical and leave the emotions at home. It is better to be cold than heart broken.
2) Create space
Feelings grow when you spend time. It doesn't make sense to spend too much time with someone you are not going to be in a relationship with or someone you are not sure how he or she feels about you. After hooking up, create a distance. Avoid calling or texting unless it is very necessary. Too much time chatting on WhatsApp or talking on the phone will lead to emotions and feelings that might not be reciprocated.
3) Avoid talking about yourself too much
When you are together, avoid talking about yourself . You can talk a bit about yourself but don't go all deep into your background and such. Keep the convo light-hearted and save the heavy stuff for someone who is really into you.
4) Leave the cuddling for the lovers
After sex, leave the mushy mushy cuddling stuff alone. That's for lovers. You are just in a friend with benefits situantionship and nothing deeper.
5) Avoid being lonely
The problem with most people who catch feelings is that they don't have options. They mainly have just one person they hang out with or talk to. This is a recipe for disaster. Go on dates, go to more parties and strike a thing or two with more people. By doing this you won't have just one option.
JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!
Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:
Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng