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Big Brother Naija Kemen's disqualification is a lesson on sexual consent

There is no such thing as 'green light.' Consent is not assumed. Flashing of boobs or improper dressing doesn't indicate interest in sex.

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Kemen disqualified for making unwanted sexual moves on Tboss play

Kemen disqualified for making unwanted sexual moves on Tboss

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On Saturday, a video of Kemen sexually touching TBoss without her consent while she was asleep went viral, and on Sunday, he was disqualified from Big Brother Naija for sexual misconduct.

While he was leaving the house, Kemen told his fellow housemates that he had done nothing wrong. Surprisingly, Kemen isn't the only person who sees nothing wrong with groping without consent.

  

Unfortunately, Kemen isn't the only person who sees nothing wrong with groping without consent.

While some condemned his actions on various social media platforms, others implied that TBoss had given him the 'green light' and therefore deserves to be molested while she was asleep and unfit to give consent.

While some Nigerians condemned his actions on various social media platforms, others implied that TBoss had given him the 'green light' and therefore deserved to be molested while she was asleep and unfit to give consent.

One would think that no sane person would argue with the principle that any sexual act without consent is an offence and should be severely punished. It is appalling to think that there are still persons who think that for some reason, a victim of non-consensual sex deserves it.

 

The thought of people cooking up excuses to justify sexual molestation is appalling. This is one of the reasons why rape is justified by some and rape victims blamed for instigating the act.

It shouldn't be difficult to understand that before you have sex with anyone, it is important to make sure that they are genuinely up for it... This goes for men and women.

Two nights before Kemen made his unwanted move, Tboss had asked him for a massage which he obliged. After the massage session, he automatically assumed that she would want more than a massage, so he decided to sneak into her space and then into her pants.

The case of TBoss and Kemen is not a case of miscommunication. Let's assume that Kemen thought they had mutual 'chemistry,' why wait till everyone was asleep? Why sneak in? Why look around for cameras?

He was stealing a moment that wasn't his. He was forcing himself on an unconscious person - and there's no justification.

TBoss being social with Kemen does not automatically indicate interest in sex. TBoss flirting with Kemen doesn't even convey consent to sex. TBoss sharing a bed with Kemen is no invitation for him to get into her pants.

Consent is not assumed. One's dressing or behaviour doesn't reflect consent. Consent is a clear 'Yes.'

You don't kiss or grope someone because they have given a 'green light,' winked at you or worn sexy outfits. You don't assume that a person is interested in you because they have been extra nice to you. If you think you have been given the green light, then ask for more. Ask for sex.

Kemen's disqualification led to debate about Debbie-Rise, who once kissed Bassey while he slept. The fact that she is still in the game doesn't take away how wrong her actions were. It is also not a reason to describe Kemen's disqualification as unjust.

Truth is, gender and personality played a role in the dismissal of Debbie-Rise's action by the viewers. She wasn't seen as a threat to Bassey, instead, her stolen kiss was considered romantic by viewers who are rooting for a relationship between the two housemates.

 

Debbie-Rise 'sexually harassing' Bassey shouldn't be an excuse or justification for Kemen's actions. It shouldn't even be a topic.

Tboss constantly flaunting her pierced boobs shouldn't be an excuse for Kemen's actions. There should be no excuse, and it is unfortunate that there are people constantly creating excuses for perverts and rapists.

There shouldn't even be a conversation about TBoss being aware of the incident and taking advantage of the situation. The only conversation people should be having is a conversation about the importance of consent.

A conversation that would go a long way in tackling a monstrous issue - Rape.

After all said and done, there are lessons to be learnt from Kemen; consent is key, silence isn't consent, 'yes' is the only consent you need.

Do you think Kemen deserved to be disqualified for his actions? »

  • 57,9% Yes, it was a forceful move
  • 42,1% No, he should have been forgiven
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