Why most men are scared to marry

Most men even freak out under the pressure to settle down in marriage, some even break the relationship all together, if they can’t get rid of themarital pressure. Today we want to address some of the man‘s internalfears, in a bid to help ladies successfully speed up the marital process.

Most men dread the loss of their freedom

Something in every man values freedom over community. On the contrary, women value community over freedom. A woman’s demand for relational companionship can sometimes feel like a threat to the man’s yearning for freedom. To get a man to be interested in marriage, the woman must find a way to convince him that getting married will in some way culminate in new levels of freedom that he wasn’t exposed to as a single.

True, there must be responsible limits to all human freedoms, but the woman who is too quick to enforce those limits might automatically loose her man.

Most men overestimate what it takes to get married and stay married

Most men will say if only I had a million saved up, I would get married. Some will say, if only I had an SUV, if only I had this or that. Unfortunately, the desire of most ladies to have a society wedding, with an endless retinue of costumes and cosmetics, has a way of adding to men’s marriage phobia.

Every lady must decide what is most important to her, being a glamorous bride or being a glorious wife. Believe me when I say, it doesn’t take the former to be the latter. Every lady who wants to have her man jump at the opportunity to be married, must deliberately simplify the process of getting married for him.

Anything too complex is most likely going to be a turn off for most men. Most ladies will argue with me that their wedding has got to be grand because it takes place once in a lifetime. To those, I will ask, is that why you should be indebted for a lifetime? There is absolutely no correlation between the grandness of a wedding and the greatness of a marriage. Get your priorities right.

Most men are afraid to marry a person they cannot trust

Trust is a big deal for most men, particularly sexual trust. Isn’t it an oxymoron that even the most promiscuous of men still yearn to settle down with a woman of virtue. The downside of premarital sex is that, the more sexually active a lady is with a man, the more she decimates her trust account with him. The lesser he trusts the lady, the farther she will be from the ideal image of a wife he is secretly yearning for. This is why if you want him to be determined to marry you, lady, you must project and embody, purity, reliability, dependability and integrity.

Most men are afraid of boredom in marriage

Almost all men love and live to play. The moment they aren’t convinced that marrying a person will be fun, they are likely to put it off indefinitely. This is why no matter how serious a lady is, to get the man to want to marry her, she must in some way project to her man that the marriage will usher them into a world of fun. The moment he has this assurance; he is most likely to cooperate.

Smart wives to be must take away most of these barriers to marriage by alleviating most of the man’s subconscious fears. Only then will the man feel free and confident enough to tie the nuptial knot with the love of his life. A major part of this is also convincing the man that you are comfortable with the level of his financial, material and professional accomplishment, and that you are willing to work and walk together with him, with what he has and where he is, on the way to his glorious future. A word is enough for the wise.

THE GREATEST IS LOVE.

Written by Deji Olabode

Deji Olabode is a transformational speaker, husband, father, pastor, author and leader. He is the founder of Love Dynamix Global an NGO committed to teaching individuals as well as institutions how to love. Deji is also the author of three books, How to be romantic, Home Again and Managing your sexuality. lovedynamix@gmail.com