I asked what the problem was; she denied and claimed all was well after much persuasion she finally opened up about her relationship with her boyfriend, Mark.
“She felt like she was not good enough for him due to the fact that he complained about everything and starts a fight just about anything. A beautiful dinner could all too well become a nightmare.”
I had just made one of the biggest sales of my career as a real estate agent, it was one thing to make sales, it was another to have a big client and make a good profit. I couldn’t hide my excitement when I got to my colleague’s office, Tosan to share the great news she could not believe it, due to the fact that I had a tough time with the client because he was someone who was not easy to please.
She was excited and congratulated me but there was something in her eyes that showed she was not happy, a deep sense of sadness. I asked what the problem was; she denied and claimed all was well after much persuasion she finally opened up about her relationship with her boyfriend, Mark.
She felt like she was not good enough for him due to the fact that he complained about everything and starts a fight just about anything. A beautiful dinner could all too well become a nightmare. She said sometimes when he did something wrong if she talks about it, he has a fine way of making it seem like she was at fault and she ends up apologizing.
Sometimes she feels like he is going to leave her anytime there’s a little misunderstanding. I felt sad for her because she was suffering silently. She was going through emotional abuse and she does not realize it because from all indications she’s completely in love with him.
Many of us today are in such form of relationships sometimes our partners makes us feel like we are weak or not good enough it will get to an extent when we begin to feel that way thereby killing our self-esteem. Well, the truth is we are not the problem and there’s a way out. But let’s look at signs to know if your partner abuses you emotionally, they are:
Sarcasm: This kind of humor is meant to make someone feel bad especially when something serious is been discussed. Sometimes when he or she does this it makes you feel worse and wish you were not having a conversation at that moment.
Deceit: If he or she lies about issues concerning the relationship or sometimes about his or her past relationships. It shows that your partner self-respect is low and he or she has no respect for you.
Jealousy: Emotional abusive partners can be very jealous and possessive especially when you have to explain to them about every relationship or friendship you have with someone because they are jealous. Another case is when they do not let you associate with your friends and family the way you like and they emotionally blackmail you with the phrase “ you are not spending enough time with me”
Superiority complex: He or she makes you feel like you do not know how to make good choices for example fashion, career paths, choice of friends e.t.c. and theirs is always better. It gets to a point where if they do not approve of anything in your life you become sober and try to seek their approval so as to be good enough.
When he or she is Petty: This is when your partner makes a mountain out of something that can easily be settled or laughed over. Especially, when it becomes a habit to pick offense over everything. This sometimes is due to the fact that most people find it hard to forgive and let things go easily.
If you find yourself in this kind of situation you are in an emotionally abusive relationship most times your partner does not need to physically abuse you, his or her attitude is enough to let you know. Often times you find it hard to leave because you love your partners and believe he/she loves you too.
Thereby, you hope your partner will change, the truth is he or she cannot change at least not with you because he/she does not respect you anymore. So it’s advisable to save yourself by leaving the relationship.
You can also get counseling if you are finding it hard to leave or you just left an abusive relationship, remember it’s not too late to start all over again.
Finally, you will always find someone who will love you for you so you do not have to struggle to be someone’s double vodka when in reality you are just a cold cup of tea to them. I will like to see your comments and feel free to share your experiences on how you broke free from an abusive relationship.
Jennifer Umoru is a passionate writer who believes writing can change the world’s perspective about life and make it a better place for the future generation. email@example.com