Our parents unknowingly orchestrated our failures [Part 2]

The deaf and dumb try so much to express themselves properly with sign languages and facial expressions; this goes a long way in conveying their message clearly to the listener.

Do we really talk?

Talking goes beyond exchanging mere words, we basically talk for understanding purposes and also to gain mutual interests and benefits. When we talk, we give the listener the opportunity to understand us properly, to feel our level of intellect and to come to terms with our views regarding a particular topic or opinion.

When we fail to communicate to those we’re supposed to be involved with, we subject them to deciding for us, concluding on our behalves, and so to speak, they can just assume anything because we have given them the right to do so.

No matter how tough it gets, learn to communicate, if you cannot do it physically, think on paper (this helps you pour out your mind and it is a form of taking notes for future use and referencing), after which it’ll help you remember what your conclusions were regarding a particular subject and topic.

How often do we engage in serious conversations?

There is need to engage in conversations with our loved ones, especially with our children. Our duty as parents goes beyond grooming them for marriage or the best university; we should be impactful in the lives of our children.

They should be our closest friends, our go-to people in times of dilemma and celebrations. Our children should learn from our positive characters and grow into being the best individuals the world needs them to be. We should learn to trust their opinions on matters relating to them, especially those that concerns their career path, choice of lifestyle, business ideas etc.

Parents should remember to be open-minded; our kids are a part of us, flesh and blood, they are not material possessions that we wield so much authority as though we own them. If we can’t trust the people in our lives, then that’s just messed up failure because, a farmer cannot plant maize and harvest and expect to harvest yams.

Is there a special person you care for?

Often times, or ideally nowadays, our fear for rejection has propelled us into being selfish and cunning. If a boy likes a girl, his first motive is to get familiar with her, afterwards he tries to get close to her and then starts making unnecessary moves on her without proper communication as to whether she likes him or not.

This is basically the reason most relationships don’t last; a girl can let you kiss her, touch her and hangout with her, but it is imperative to define the relationship for clarity sakes and also to avoid being used by the other party. We shouldn’t get selfish with people, we shouldn’t force ourselves into people’s lives just for our own benefits, and we ought to know that communication goes a long way in setting the records straight for any form of relationship.

Don’t rush it; try to find time for meaningful conversations about whether or not you both agree with each other. If you don’t talk about it, you automatically give them the right to have a sense of assumption and when the situation goes south, they can walk away anytime. After all, there was no agreement of some sort.

How does this change our view on life happenings?

Apparently, communication cuts across our diversified economy, beliefs and interests, it goes a long way in modifying our sense of understanding for one another. We don’t just create a room for understanding when we engage in talks, we create a room for trust and reliability. So, we must cultivate the habit of communicating in any form when we need clarity.

When in doubt whether he/she will honor your invitation, please call to ask.
Something happened in your absence, instead of judging or getting angry, please asks questions.
When your daughter doesn’t want to visit her uncle anymore, please ask, and don’t force her.
Just because the teacher said your son disobeyed him doesn’t mean your child is bad, please ask your son quietly to get the facts.
When you are not sure whether to continue studying the same course for Master’s Degree, don’t let fear of your parents keep you on that path, talk to them, they’ll understand you.
You shouldn’t let a third party into your personal relationship with your loved ones; For instance, just because Sandra did something wrong, doesn’t Junior has the right to beat her up. It is your right as a parent to correct your child, otherwise, Junior will grow up with the notion that beating up a person is the right way to correcting them. If you let him strike his siblings, he’ll beat up his wife in future, and so to speak, you’re promoting domestic violence.
Learn to teach your child that
Repeating our past failures whenever we err doesn’t help us positively, whether or not you have a dozen children, learn to reprimand cautiously and privately. John doesn’t have to be present when you’re reminding Rebecca of her true life story #winks (African mothers)

A peaceful life filled with joy and understanding is all we crave, let us train our kinds to be ambassadors of peace. Our world would be a better place if we all try to understand and respect each other.

“We are a reflection of our parents, no matter who we turn out to be, the most part is formed by our parents” (jaygirlsquote)