Have you ever asked for what you want in bed?

yinka ogunlami

October 4, 2016 8:36 AM

When you aren’t getting the sex you want, what do you do about it?

Have you ever asked for what you want in bed?

When you aren’t getting the sex you want, what do you do about it? According to the questions have been asking ladies, the answer is anything that doesn’t involve asking for it. Instead, of going around collecting or learning tricks and techniques from experts or friends – why not talk it out.

Why make the process so complicated? Simply telling him what you like and where you like it a huge turn on for most men like myself(smile)… what we are after is great sex and what’s more, we are desperate to know how to give it to you…

Sounds simple enough, the problem is it seems that ‘asking for it’ is one of to- do- list for ladies. Awkward and uncomfortable it could be, ladies need to find their voice because when it comes to communication with men it’s the most effective tool ladies have. Most sex talk issues most ladies give fall into different categories;

I ‘m afraid to say it; this is by far the biggest reason ladies don’t speak up; you need to work out what’s driving that fear…

I shouldn’t have to say it; the bedroom is no place for tantrums. you are angry because he’s forcing you into the mightily uncomfortable position of having to say what you want… Most men have no difficulty saying what they want and how, when, where and in which position so I don’t get why it should be so difficult for a lady to. It’s tough to imagine how difficult it make ladies feel when we men ask and they lady do what’s asked. Good men like me (smile) would be mortified if we knew how often ladies put up, shut up, give up... my theory is if you don’t ask you don’t get.
I’ve tried saying it but nothing’s change; when a lady as found the courage to say what she wants, then had to say it over n over again with little or no result, it’s either time to give up and get out or start saying something different. I say this to all my friends that if a lady can do what you want why can’t you go through that that same pain to do same…if a guy can’t do same that means he is selfish.. If the relationship is new, ‘not hearing’ could be a big red warning flag; he’s out for himself and won’t put himself out for you or maybe you haven’t learnt to speak each other’s language yet. Next time, tell him in a very simple term and if he still doesn’t listen you might have to consider your options. If he won’t give a little in bed, what are the chances of him making room for your needs in the rest of the relationship? If you have a long time partner and have recently found your voice only to find he’s not listening anyway, don’t give up. You have an established sexual history and men are creatures of habit. If you try to change, add or stop something after so long he may mistake suggestions for complaints. Tread carefully around his fragile ego and use positive upbeat language. If you have tried that and he still doesn’t seem to care, you know he’s a selfish tosspot who doesn’t deserve you.
What if I don’t know what I want? If you are still fairly new to sex or haven’t yet had a relationship that let you explore your needs, you have got a whole world to uncover. Finding out what you want in bed is like discovering what foods you like from hundreds of new tastes. One day you’ll want to try something exotic; the next you’ll want to stick to what you know, your plate will grow with experience. Speaking about it just as important, if not more so, because it includes saying no...

yinka ogunlami