This is a blogpost by Yenique... Ladies! You ask what’s wrong with dating that cute 'bobo' that keeps winking at you in the office lunch room...
It’s dangerously sweet, the chasing/shadowing part is plain sugar, the gossip/breakup part is awful to say the least especially if you love your job and can’t afford to leave.
Here are a few tips to bear in mind if you intend to go down that path…
The worst mistake you could make is letting the guy get the sugar easily. I know it’s hard you are probably catching feelings and all but slow down, you would probably want this to last right? So let’s keep him on your tails for a while, decline dates, act coy, still dress hot (and sexy as hell) but don’t give him the full light. If he stops chasing, then he probably wasn’t worth it in the first place. Also, if the rumor mill ever get the memo, they would also get the details of how long it took him to track you down.
I say not to hide… so much. Hiding how close you guys are or how much you are into each other would only come back to bite you in the heels. The more you hide/deny your involvement, the more people get curious, a little smile in the doorway and they are onto you like ants to sugar. I’m not saying disclose every aspect of your dates to all your other co-workers but don’t go pretending you guys don’t even talk. Protect your interest at all times be a little open so people don’t go “oh pretender” if it ever comes out.
Let your head game be on-point (not literally). Don’t be the one doing all the calling, texting and feelings-catching even after he got you. Men like to chase, it gives them the thrills and though it’s crazy, they get to lay back after they get what they want. Don’t let them do that to you. If he acts like he doesn’t remember you, don’t remember him, too. He doesn’t call, don’t call asking why… let the relationship be at his pace.
Yes, you guys just took a dive in the sheets about an hour before a major meeting or presentation where you might have to go head to head, still don’t go mute if he’s making decisions you don’t agree with. Work is work, play is play. Let the margin be clear. Do not base work related decisions on personal moments with him.
Awwwww… That hurt, I know. You are probably thinking how low his ‘goons’ must think you are, or how you are going to make that next presentation with a straight face. Here’s how, lay back, take a few drinks, relive the sweet moments and see him as a conquest. Don’t go into hiding and start assuming everyone’s talking about you it might not be totally true. Even if it is you did it because he threw real feelings at you, he wooed you because he saw potential, you were not a fling, he wanted you first and acted genuine…let them judge all they want. Hold your head high and face your work, laugh, jest and play as usual, that way people would get tired of talking sef.
If you get a ring, remember to send me an invite to the wedding (abeg party jollof is bae).
In all, feel free to love whoever you want, no office walls should stop you.
Yenique is an avid reader of African poetry and homicide novels. Writing poetry and short stories/articles has been her source of sanity in this crazy traffic and stress filled Lagos. She blogs at www.yenique9ja.blogspot.com and posts daily tips/advice on Instagram @yenique9ja.