This is a blogpost by Chioma Nnani... Though the 2016 Rio Olympic games aren't over yet, but in the mean time, here is what we have learned.
While Nigerians on Twitter were still wondering whose idea of a joke that was, Seye Ogunlewe joined her.
That was when Nigerians realised how much of an unamusing liability Solomon Dalung and by/because (of the) extension, the Sports Ministry, are. This man is one of the 'dream team' that took the president so long to compute – the team that was supposed to deliver Nigeria from rot and give Utopia to us, on a platter of Nirvana.
Well, the Olympics aren't even over yet, but in the mean time, here is what we have learned:
Instead of sorting out the incomprehensible, inexcusable mess that is his department, he can be found on Twitter, dragging Nigerians who are puzzled at his determination to make us look like even more of a laughingstock. If he is not claiming that social media has imposed spirit status on human beings, he is spinning conspiracy theories.
In a continued show of ineptitude, Solomon Dalung abandoned Nigerian athletes in Atlanta and feigned ignorance. Or maybe, he is really an ignorant man. Did they even eat in Atlanta?
Or was that too much for him to arrange? People who have made sacrifices for their nation, arrived at the Olympics with hours to spare before their first match. How they managed to beat Japan is beyond comprehension.
Maybe Coach Siasia really performs miracles. Or maybe it was hunger – hunger for glory. When you go through certain things, you give everything you have and more… or you die trying. You have nothing more to lose, yet ironically you have everything to lose.
If this is not proof of in-house witchcraft, I don't know what is. Our team showed up to the Opening Ceremony, wearing tracksuits. At first, many people thought it was because their tailor had done them strong tin
There is no Nigerian who has ever lived in Nigeria, who has never been done strong tin by a tailor. We heard that the costumes had been left behind, forgotten or weren't prepared on time.
But when some of us realised that the costumes had actually been ready for a while, it sounded odd. Then, we saw the costumes and light dawned; everything made sense. If I had been in charge of getting those monstrosities across to Rio, I would also have forgotten them on purpose.
We have seen Stella McCartney designing stuff for athletes representing Great Britain. Other designers across the world, have thrown their weight behind athletes from their countries.
But we had a talent-free individual attempt to throw weight on Nigerian athletes, under the guise of creating the most impractical and ugliest things that any human being can muster.
This has to be the only country, where people think they should get rewarded for being a nuisance, while those who actually work, continue to be punished. Athletes who spent years training, are being treated like dirt.
The designer was probably paid a tidy sum, for that mess. Like many Nigerians, I would like to know who designed those horrific things – just so that we can avoid them, forever and ever.
Chioma Nnani is an award-winning author, who also contributes to business, lifestyle and literary publications. One of Africa's most fearless storytellers, she is a two-time UK BEFFTA (Black Entertainment Film Fashion Television and Arts) Award nominee and a DIVAS OF COLOUR 2016 finalist, who lives in Abuja, runs THE FEARLESS STORYTELLER HOUSE EMPORIUM LTD, can be reached on @ChiomaNnani and blogs at www.fearlessstoryteller.com.