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Save your thoughts, get me gifts

If you have ever received a sorry excuse for a gift under the guise of 'I thought I should get you this', take heart and keep calm.

Save your thoughts, get me gifts

If you have ever been to a couple of Nigerian weddings and/or birthday parties, you may have seen people wrap all sorts of unimaginables, traipse to where the host is seated, flash The Nigerian Smile, hand them over, collect a souvenir, repeat the smile and greet as many friends and family as possible on their way out.

I remember a wedding party a couple hosted in my neighbourhood years ago. During the party, another neighbour went to a nearby provision shop and requested 5 twenty naira notes in place of a #100 note.

I knew this because he shamelessly talked about it weeks later. Young as I was, I wondered why he had to go to such lengths just to give a gift and get one in return. It didn’t seat right with me but I never did get an answer until years later and through an isolated event.

I volunteered at a retreat for married couples two years ago and got talking with another volunteer who was married. We soon shifted to the topic of weddings and wedding gifts.

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He talked about how he saw #10 notes, #50 naira notes and even a feather when he opened the wedding gifts with his wife. I was shocked. But then, I guess those people hid behind ‘the thoughts not the gifts’ matter.

I often wonder why people even bother to get gifts for the host when I go to weddings or birthday parties and watch people bring gifts that will most likely end up redundant in the recipient's house. I wonder when the cycle of deception will stop but then, the thought matters, right?

Well, maybe it’s high time we held an appraisal…time we asked questions.

A good place to start will be to ask 'Will I be happy if I receive the gift I'm about to give?'

'Am I really giving the best I can afford at this time?'

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'Am I excusing the substandard gifts I'm bearing under the umbrella of "the thoughts matter"?'

Things may have been done the wrong way for quite a while but who says we can’t make a change in whatever way we can? Any change we seek begins with you and me.

Imagine how great you will feel when someone gets you a great gift; picture the smile that could light up your friend’s face when you get him a thoughtful gift. Aren’t these realities worth creating?

When next you want to get someone a gift, ensure you get what you will be proud of receiving. Give more than thoughts–give thoughtful gifts.

The gift doesn’t have to cost a liver…it just has to mean something to the recipient and elicit a real smile (a few tears won’t be bad though).

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