Recognition of bullying from childhood

Whether we like to admit it or not, the effects of bullying as far back as early childhood affects people in one way or another; and if not addressed properly, could be detrimental to a person’s self esteem or even lead to other negative behavioural activities such as substance abuse, depression or even violence.

Bullying is defined as unwanted aggressive behaviour that physically, verbally and emotionally inflicts pain and suffering on a person. It is a deliberate act and is repeated over a period of time by the same person at the same victim. Bullying comes in many forms and is prominent across generations.

Adult and workplace bullying are not foreign concepts in our social and professional environments. But like all things learned and acquired, it is best to recognise and address negative behaviours early, right from school age when children begin to form opinions of others and develop their characters.

Traditional forms of bullying include verbal, social and physical bullying. People within the same environment as the bully and the bullied can witness these in person. Some, however, ignore them because it is “not their business”.

Some are even of the opinion that a certain person deserves to be bullied. Others may actually not even be aware of the signs or the detrimental effects these behaviours have on human beings and may either not detect them or bother to address them. It is, however, extremely important to take note of the forms through which each of these traditional forms occur:

Social bullying comes in the form of neglect, a child/group of children singling another child out of activities with their peers, discouraging other children from being friends with a child, spreading false rumours about another child and embarrassing another child in public.

Physical bullying, probably the most obvious, comes in the form of hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing, rude body language/hand gestures, tripping, taking or breaking another child’s belongings.

There is another form of bullying, which is gaining more and more attention globally. This is cyber-bullying, which takes place over the Internet, largely via social media. As many children now have social media accounts, it is very possible to take bulling away from the physical environment to the digital environment. Children (and even adults) are very conscious of their social footprint and status these days. In fact, they are almost obsessed with it.

Therefore any form of harm carried out on this space is equally as dangerous as the traditional forms of bullying. Unfortunately, this is an area which is more difficult to control due to the absence of physical restrictions over what a bully may say or do over the internet or even through chatrooms, whatsapp or text messages.

The truth is that it is very difficult for parents, teachers and other children to detect bullying, particularly, when it is well disguised (which is made easy through digital media). However, there are some warning signs, through we can tell if a child is being bullied. These include:

Fear of going to school or attending a particular class
Frequent loss of specific belongings
Physical injuries or unexplained bruises
Nervousness
Loss of confidence
Withdrawal or distress
Poor academic performance
Eating disorders
Sleeping disorders
Torn books or clothes
Bullying others (including retaliation)
Suicidal thoughts and attempts

Furthermore, in the school environment, anti-bullying behaviour should also be encouraged amongst the children. Examples include:

Having a friendly expression on their faces
Complimenting others
Smiling more
Laughing at other people’s jokes
Being kind
Involving everyone in activities
Modesty
Giving children equal opportunities to participate in school activities

Teachers, parents and even children should be sufficiently enlightened about all signs of bullying, so that they can be addressed early before such behaviour evolves into negative social behaviour (for the bullies) or lead to mental or psychological issues (for the bullied). Also, in general, we should really make a more conscious effort to become more aware of such behaviours in our environments and also the effect of our own behaviour on others around us.