Are you what you want to be

When we would ace a test or homework, our teachers would write something in our books like "the sky is your limit" "keep it up", "don't rest on your oars" etc. So basically, these things were instilled in us by our parents, teachers etc. right from time.

Growing up, the harsh reality that life is has taught us that life isn't all flowers and rainbows and while it may be easy to say keep it up, keeping up is not as easy, practically. So yes, it's hard to be "the best" in this harsh journey called life.

That being said, giving up is not an appealing option either, and neither is settling.

It starts with asking yourself what you genuinely want for yourself concerning a job, business, relationship, your academics etc (setting a standard) and working tirelessly to get to that place.

Realistically, sometimes settling is the only option we have, sometimes you have to start from little/nothing to get to "that place", you may have to be a mechanic to be an engineer, you may have to be an extra to become the lead actor. Few people are magically placed at the apex so we have to work to get there and anybody who tells you there's anything wrong with that is simply impractical.

When you know there's a problem is when you start to feel satisfied or content with that position. You can't get too comfortable in a place where you know you don't belong because the moment you do, that's the moment you stop trying to be better. You need to accept your situation as temporary/transitional. It's okay for your story to start as the guy who takes the menial jobs but it is not okay for your story to end there. Especially when you know you can be so much more.

When I was in my mid- teens, there was this girl who was always known to date the guys that nobody wanted to date. We could never (and probably still can't) understand why. It's that "better than nothing" mentality that holds many people down.

If I found that I was suddenly in a position where I knew I didn't belong, in which I had a choice, I would immediately remove myself from that position. Like immediately. And completely too.

These standards/life goals are relative which is why no one else can set them for you. What may be an achievement for one, may be everyday life for another. Some people are satisfied with a B while others won't stop until they get an A, likewise there are those who are okay with a C "as long as I'm not failing totally" and that's fine. This is why we shouldn't let our immediate surroundings or situations determine our destination or hamper our focus.

My dad for example, grew up among many siblings, some had big dreams, some had none, some worked to live out their dreams, some did not.

My dad had dreams and struggled to get there basically on his own. He took himself out of the village to England, never losing sight of what he wanted for himself. Raising us, he always gave us the best. When I say best, I mean top notch. He didn't let his growing up affect how he wanted his children to be raised.

When you're where you're meant to be academically, career/business-wise, relationship-wise etc. you would know. The satisfaction would come.

The goal is not perfection but progress. You have to work constantly to take yourself to that place you feel you belong.

Ask yourself if you're what you want to be. If not, start working to get there.

Written by Noya Sedi

Twitter @ashotofnoya