6 things you learn from your first Big Break Up

desmond frimpong

October 17, 2017 10:19 PM

Some silver lining in a truly dark time.

Truly the only good thing about your first big break up is that it only happens once.

Though we all wish we could have an ever happy relationship, we don't always get them.

Regardless we pick a thing or two from the break up.

Here are 6 lessons you learn the hard way during your first big break up.

1. They call it heartbreak for a reason.

And, uh, that reason is that it literally feels like something inside of you is broken. It sucks. It's the worst. But (spoiler) it gets better.

2. All those lame clichés people tell you about getting over an ex are kinda true.

You know — sage advice like, "If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be," and "it takes half the time you were in the relationship to get over it." It's a cliché that most clichés are a little true, and these are no exception.

3. You probably got way too sucked into the relationship.

And that's fine. Dating is about #Realizing #Things, and something you realize after your first big one ends is that you have to reserve some time and energy for yourself. Even though it's tempting to spend every sentient moment with this fun person you're head over heels in love with, you need some balance and boundaries.

4. You might surprise yourself with how bitter you feel at first.

I vividly remember wanting to throw things at couples I saw holding hands after my first big break up. This is not an urge I typically have, but heartbreak does wild things to a person. A break up can cause you to learn new things about yourself and feel feelings you don't understand. But it's ok to feel bad and angry, and it'll pass in due time.

5. You're a lot stronger than you think.

You can get through it! And you will. But you'll also need a bit of help, and there's absolutely nothing shameful or weak about that. People need people! It's normal.

6. Trusting your own feelings is hard and necessary.

Once again, everyone is going to have something to say about the break up. But the only person who really knows how you're feeling, and why you two broke up, and how much that hurts, is you. Focus on your own feelings and know that they're valid, even if that means shutting everyone out for a day to focus on what's going on in your head.

desmond frimpong